Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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