scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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