you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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