the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
