after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Two words: blizzard sex
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize