I hope mine doesn't look like that
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
