Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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