I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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