Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he was CRYING into my vagina
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
