If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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