I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
