I can't watch pbs sober anymore
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
