The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
