So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
