if i can run in heels then i can drive
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
