Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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