When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
