so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
