i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
