Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
