I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
