So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
