My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
