Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
