just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
