Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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