I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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