take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Randomize
