So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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