can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
