I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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