Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
