did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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