There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
