I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
