I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
