physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
