We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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