I'm lost and stupid without you.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
