sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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