so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
