Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
one two three fourrrrnication!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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