Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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