Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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