this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
