so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
