How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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