I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
