Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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