I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
