You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
