absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
