If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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